Friday Shower Thoughts 3/10/17

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Sometimes our most profound thoughts come to us in the shower… here’s the best we could find this week…

  • Conspiracy theorists say “don’t believe what they tell you” but then proceed to try and make you believe a theory
  • I hate having to prove to a robot that I am not a robot.
  • Reach for the stars, because even if you miss, you’ll be miles away from me with your motivational bull shit.
  • When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become the vacuum cleaner.
  • Why do I have to pay more when I ask for something extra on a sandwich but I don’t get a discount when I ask for no tomatoes?
  • Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I am technically looking at myself from the past
  • The dread from thinking you might throw up is 100 times worse than actually throwing up.
  • Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.

 

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