Friday Shower Thoughts 2/17/17

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Sometimes our best thoughts come to us in the shower… here’s the best we could find this week

  • Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
  • Even if I agree with your bumper sticker 100%, I still think less of you for having a bumper sticker.
  • The first time a stripper jumped out of a cake must have been the most legendary bachelor party.
  • Telling my Echo to tell my Roomba to start working creates a weird robotic hierarchy in my household
  • Wall-E is the kids version of a Black Mirror episode.
  • You think you’re unique until you have to choose a username
  • My 15 year old self would be appalled to hear how many times I’ve chosen sleep over sex.

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