Friday Shower Thoughts 1/27/17

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Sometimes our best thoughts come to us in the shower, here is a list of the best we could find this week.

  • The Onion might go bankrupt because they can’t compete against the reality now
  • It sucks if you’re smart enough to realize you’re not as smart as you want to be.
  • If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I’d do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent’s house.
  • The fact that I can’t recognize my co-workers outside of uniform 85% of the time, tells me superman knows exactly what he’s doing.
  • The only thing fire drills actually teach people is how to sarcastically leave a building as a group.
  • Condoms are one of the most environmentally friendly things invented by man. A single one has the potential to eliminate the carbon emissions of an entire human over the course of their lifetime.
  • Tobacco companies should be leading in the search for a cancer cure. The day after a cure is found, sales of cigarettes are going to go up by 500,000% from the millions of us that quit for health / longevity reasons.
  • My car keys have traveled more than my car
  • If Steve Jobs was reincarnated into a Chinese family he would be old enough to be making iPhones now.

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